If you are reading this thinking of your sadly wrapped, sea foam green fabric covered, misshapen lump of a lunch with its printed elephants, unfortunately knowing that it closely resembles a large child's diaper - perhaps you should re-evaluate what your lunchbox is saying about you. As it sits in the over crowded work fridge, silently labeling you as the man whose wife shops for him and has no sense of fashion of his own merit. It is time to rebel, and allow your playful, ironic or manly side come into play - and invite co-workers to notice, nay, openly gawk and admire the box of tin and aluminum that has survived decades and says, " I AM a lunch of a deeply interesting and stylish person."
So obviously a box of this caliber can't come from Walmart - to inspire conversation and ensure lunchroom envy it has to come from the antique store. Duh. Take a look at a few of the gems I found and what they will say about you and your epic lunch.
1 - The Bonafide lady-killer. You can rock a man mullet fro with the best of them. You have a dead sexy car that talks to you and basically -- You are in for a helluva ride.
2 - You are patriotic, protective and extremely Pro-Second Amendment. This is your version of tupperware....and Bambi jerky is inside.
3 - A truthful, mysterious, ruggedly handsome boy scout. You are all about righting wrongs and you truly believe justice will prevail. And you wear the white hat well.
4 - And of course, the James Dean of lunch boxes. This says you are a legend. A rebel, a free spirit who rides a motorcycle just to feel the speed and the wind in his hair. Manliness incarnate.
So take your pick - or switch it up as you go back to school or back to work. Know that the pink printed butterflies and rainbow kittens on your old bag are doing you no favors and getting you no respect or new attention - so drop that bag off at goodwill and find a unique bag that tells your story - and keeps your food fresh and unsquished.
Oh and I lied about the rainbow kittens, that would actually score you points...I was trying to be dramatic...but I went too far. I can see that now. Keep Calm and Get Your Lunch On.